Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Be still.

This isn't quite the read for men, since it is full of lady agenda, but read on if you must. 
The past week my mind has been stirring. It is unfortunate the lack of focus I can have during hormonal changes month to month. I'm saying this, because they do exist for women, and sometimes we're called crazy when we act abnormal, or cry about everything. I am getting rid of the "hushhush, that doesn't exsist because we don't talk about it" stuffWell, there is a reason, and though I would love to blame my moodiness and lack of focus on the unlovely season, I can't ignore the fact that I am still a sinner. I must MUST, always be reminded in every season, no matter how short that season, that the Lord has brought me redemption; I cannot give up because I am weak, I need strength to push through these times without negativity. 
This strength can never be found in myself, but only in the Lord God Almighty. 
Though I believe the body works as a whole, and imbalances create problems, in these short and frustrating times, I can't blame my attitude all on bodily changes, and I can't expect that my negative actions not bring consequences when I am not daily in The Word and prayerful. 
I feel like this is something that isn't normally discussed because it is a private matter for women, and most of the time, all that is really shown is how crazy and irrational we can be. We need to be strong women in the Lord, even in these times. I'm sure each woman has different struggles during this time, but for me, my lack of focus and patience effects my life, as though everything is crashing down around me. I feel like I am not able to make decisions; I have little faith in myself and what I am able to do. I am tired, my thoughts consistently stirring, hungry all the time, moody, snappy, dizzy, clumsy, unfocused, negative, in the midst of hot flashes, and in all of this, affecting my husband through my attitude. Sure, each month differs, but I am sure a lot of women can relate to all of this. The point and focus I am trying to make, is that I wish I had focus to Love the Lord through my actions, thoughts, and words in this time. I don't completely give up on the Word and prayer, but each time I try pushing forward, I feel like I fail at giving God my complete concentration. This long week can seem like a month, full of disappointment and a roller coaster of emotions, but the Lord is always waiting. Even through these times of panic, 'the Lord is still fighting for me, and I need only to be still.' (Exodus 14:14)
The Lord doesn't make us face the things we cannot handle and He delivers strength to us through these small battles. It is so easy to give up and say, 'Why Lord? And why even try when I seem to always fail?'  But even in these times, He is trying to teach us, and He wants to be close to us.
Sure this post seems like a joke...really, you're writing about that time of the month? It is a little funny, but when we're in the middle of a tiring battle of a week, we think otherwise. We think "Oh Lord, strengthen me, use me even in this time when I feel completely useless." He is in every pocket of our lives; every cranny and corner. And He deserves to be.

All my Love,